Author: Miriam Green

First, I want to say that I’m extremely grateful to everyone’s enthusiasm and support for our latest Staying the Eff in Business efforts. We do have several new classes & content in development and remain excited about building future programming, events and offerings with our community near and far — so let’s keep doing this together. This particular sale has two days left, but you’ll keep hearing from me in the next couple of weeks as we try to right the post-Omicron ship. We’re building new programs and cool new events over here that we can’t wait to delight you with. ​ Enjoy some of the free stuff we already have out there for you! Did you ever wonder why we have a Patreon? In part, it’s so that we can help kinksters everywhere while creating cool stuff like this: Did you know we have a YouTube channel? You may get some free pre-pandemic snippets of content there. You can even find most of the old Kinky Queer Revolution podcast!!! You can even find a taped version of our BDSM Negotiation Basics class (old school! no slides or Zoom!) right here. Into our Sex Magick programming? You might enjoy this talk Mir gave a few years ago about Sex Magick & Polarity Beyond Gender. If you love some of this and want to tip, you know where. ​ Help us by helping us help you! Take advantage of the Staying the Eff in Business sale in person or online. 20% off all books & decks, and most impact & sex toys! Just use code EFFINBIZ between now and Sunday evening. Do you have one of our cool new shirts yet? WickedGrounds.clothing offers great designs via print on demand and gets neat swag to your door reliably and quickly. Have you been meaning to sign up for a future class? Why not sign up now? ​ Join our Patreon for personal benefits and to stabilize our long term trajectory. Use our new Schedulista to book daytime hours for the Annex directly, or even book time to pick Mir’s brain. Or reach out to Events@WickedGrounds.com to talk about other bookings! ​ Help us by helping others! Throw a support coffee or scholarship ticket onto your purchases at WickedGrounds.com by checking our our Pay It Forward section. In just the past two weeks, we’ve been able to provide education to 16 people who could not have afforded it otherwise. That benefits everyone. Want to buy a LOT of support coffee or scholarship tickets? Send funds via PayPal to put your funds to work immediately. Don’t want anything but want to throw in a few shekels? Use our online tip jar for one-time contributions or to show your gratitude for our content beyond classes & coffee. ​ We want to be here for you. You want us to be here for you. Let’s do this. Let’s weave community. With love and gratitude, Mir Love all the many things Wicked Grounds offers you beyond our products? Show us some love in our tip jar or by joining our Patreon!

Many terms from the BDSM community have filtered out into wider parlance. Vanilla folks* make jokes about using their safeword or calling red. Folks talk about not kink shaming or may even refer to themselves as vanilla — or not. But some jargon still confuses newcomers to the scene. For example: What the heck is a “munch”? Is that a sex thing?! And why are there so many of them on the calendar? A munch is simply a social gathering of kinky folks for what’s usually a non-kink purpose: socializing, hanging out, getting to know you. In a community that includes many kink- or sexually-charged environments, a munch signifies a low-key, low-protocol way to meet other kinksters where the focus is building community and friendships. I’ve heard that the term originated from “burger munch“, although a few different locales make claim to first use of the term back in the early days of the internet, and it’s hard to know for certain where it originated first. We’ve often heard it was Southern California, but the Bay Area and East Coast have made reasonable claims. In my experience, there are a few specific kinds of munches — and reading your event listing will help you know what you’re getting into. Organizational munches are sponsored by a local BDSM group (for example, San Francisco’s Society of Janus or Austin’s GWNN) and are focused on socializing for that organization. These munches are a great way to meet new friends, learn about what the organization has to offer, and often to help connect with other resources & parties. Topical munches are organized around a specific area of interest. For example, here in SF there are munches for switches, submissives, dominants, asexual kinksters, kinky crafters, gamers, photographers, spiritual kinksters, and much more. Depending on the topics, light play may be allowed at or encouraged; rope events, events for adult age players and events for human animals often offer activities for optional PG-13 level play. Regional munches are often hosted in more rural areas or areas where it’s harder to connect with niche BDSM groups, and provide a way to see what local resources exist. You’ll often find representatives of a few local groups at these. Anyone can start a munch. Yes, that includes YOU! All you need to start a munch is a good reputation in your community, a few friends, and a place to meet. If you want help starting a munch at Wicked Grounds, we have a whole FAQ for that on FetLife. Never been to a munch? Get out there! Munches are the single easiest way to build community with like-minded individuals. Even if the first munch you go to isn’t a good fit, it might help you find another group or munch that is a better fit for you. In many cities and regions of the US, attending munches is the only way to find out how to attend reputable classes & play parties, so going to a munch is a critical first step in becoming part of your local public scene. And being part of your local public scene improves your kink journey in many ways. So your homework — should you choose to accept it — is to find a local or online munch and start meeting your community! xoxo Mir *or are they . . . ? You never know! PS: Has this explainer been useful? You can always leave a little tip here for our newsletter content, and of course we’d love it if you join our Patreon.

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Just a reminder that if you are signed up at the VIP+ level ($30/month or higher subscription) you always get one of Mir’s classes monthly at no cost.  For in person classes – like today’s Welcome to the SF Scene – you may just show up (at least 5 minutes early please!) and check in for your free seat. For online classes, please send an email to Events@WickedGrounds.com at least one business day before the class, and we’ll get you on the online guest list for access to the webinar.  We appreciate your support!  xoxo Mir & the Wicked Grounds team 

This Saturday, we are delighted to welcome back our partnership with the Society of Janus to provide a full afternoon of BDSM education at Wicked Grounds Annex! ​ From noon – 2pm, join Miriam Green for Welcome to the San Francisco Scene. This Kink 101 class gives you the basics on the San Francisco BDSM scene, and is perfect whether you’re new to kink, new to the public scene, want to learn more about local BDSM play and education, even just want to know what the heck happens at a kink café. Join us for this quick orientation to the local kink scene and San Francisco’s very own kink café. This session is perfect for folks who are making their first brave steps into the San Francisco kink scene. This class is also a perfect intro to etiquette and protocols if you’re planning to get involved with local play parties and organizations. You may get your advance tickets here through Eventbrite, or get tickets at the door between 11:30 – 11:55 Saturday morning. This is also considered a “Kink 101” class for purposes of our Patreon memberships, so if you are a current Patreon member at the VIP level ($30/month or higher) you may take this class with your free Kink 101 class per month benefit! (Or, just sign up here to do that!) ​ Then from 3-5:30pm, it’s the return of the Society of Janus BDSM Basics Workshop. Every month, this workshop helps to build your skills in a few core hands-on techniques for BDSM play. This month, we’ll explore: Rough Body Play with AnnabelleBlue Caning with Miriam Green Floggers with Frey ​ Advance ticketing available online through SOJ.org, or you may get them at the door between 2:30 – 2:55pm. $10 for all current SOJ members, or $15 for the general public. ​ If you’re in SF, we hope to see you this Saturday! Cheers Mir

We are going into the last week of the Wicked Grounds annual Patreon drive and we need your support. Mostly, we need help to cut through the algorithm clutter. We know that you are already a member; you read our emails, you engage, you care. Your mission is to share this drive by inviting other folks to be part of it — folks that you already know love Wicked Grounds and want us to succeed but may not know that we need them. Literally every membership at every level makes a difference to our long-term sustainability. We use the number of members as a proof of support with folks like our landlord, vendors & lenders. Even memberships at the $1/month level make a huge difference in those conversations. Please be a part of it.  ​Facebook event listing for our virtual Patreon drive here! ​ We can personally only invite 50 people on Facebook, and there is no invite function on FetLife. So we need your help! If you’re out on Facebook, please invite folks that you know love Wicked Grounds but who may not be a member yet. ​FetLife event listing for our virtual Patreon drive here! ​ On FetLife you can’t invite people to an event at all — but your RSVPs will drive visibility! We guess you could also just share this email. Old school!!! —- Here’s what people will see when they go to the event listings: You’ve been invited to this virtual fundraising event because you love Wicked Grounds. ​Patreon.com/WickedGrounds​ Maybe it’s attending your favorite munches. It might be our amazing coffee and homemade treats, or our hand-crafted gear. It might be the great advice you get from Mir and our baristas about the best parties and groups in the local kink scene. Or perhaps you’re not even in the Bay Area, but you attend lots of our online classes, and stop in every time you’re in town. ​Patreon.com/WickedGrounds​ For whatever reason, you love us. And we love you right back. So, I’m going to get Gross for a moment. Terry Gross. (Yes, that’s an NPR-based dad joke.)A fact: 35% of our monthly cafe budget comes from our Patreon subscribers. It’s literally impossible to keep the lights on and the doors open otherwise. If you value the unique environment that you can only find at Wicked Grounds, we encourage you to become a member today. Memberships at any level — from $1 to significantly more than that — maintain a valuable safe space for kinksters, queer folks, trans folks, and everyone else who just needs a safe space to be themselves in all their parts. We don’t need much from any single person. In fact, if everyone reading this who isn’t subscribed just signed up at the $1 – $5 level each month, we could sail on through the new year with no stress at all — for you, or us. ​Patreon.com/WickedGrounds​ We recognize that many of you reading this are new to the scene — and many of you may not be in the San Francisco Bay Area at all. We want this membership to be valuable to you, no matter where you are in your journey, or in the world. Last week, we added a new benefit for VIP members at the Kitty level or higher ($30+/ month) to get one free Kink 101 class (or any other class taught by Mir) each month! VIP level members also get free entry to lots of other cool stuff throughout the year, like the amazing VIP Lounge we just held for MEGAHOOD.We encourage you to take a moment now and support the spaces you believe in. Thank you -Mir PS: We hate fundraising. Like, a lot. But we love being here for you, and this is necessary. Thanks for listening.PPS: There’s as 85%+ chance that if you can see this in this group, you’re not yet a member. Why not change that now? PPPS: Another fun way to support the Grounds is to check out all our cool merch at WickedGrounds.clothing. We hear there’s a new puppy logo shirt . . . ! ​

Hope you had a great Halloween! How the heck is it November already?! I know some of you take part in NaNoWriMo — that’s National Novel Writing Month for those who haven’t heard of it — committing to write 50,000 words toward a first draft of a new novel. If you are, best luck to you! We have fast Wi-Fi, outlets all around the café, great hot drinks and quiet daytime hours now if you’d like to write some of it here! You are very welcome to spend the day with us. We want to be that kind of hang-out. SOJ BDSM Basics returns on first Saturdays! We are back to creating a full day of content for BDSM newcomers (and experienced players!) on first Saturdays, starting with our own Welcome to the San Francisco Scene class with Miriam Green and continuing with BDSM Basics. See details below! Thinking ahead, we are also delighted to bring back the SF Fetish Flea Market starting second Saturdays in December at Wicked Grounds Annex. If you’re interested in vending, please click through to this event listing for details and be sure to RSVP to save the date!!! (Do you find this weekly roundup helpful? Feel free to leave a little something in our tip jar or of course become part of our Patreon!) This Week (Thursday, November 4th – Sunday, November 14th) Thursday, November 4th Café & boutique open 10am – 10pm. Online at 6pm PDT/ 9pm EDT, join Tomo as we explore Conflict Resolution Within an Authority Exchange Framework. We will look at the basics of conflict resolution and how that applies, remains the same, and changes within a 24/7 authority exchange from both perspectives.  The goal of this class is to increase our conflict resolution skills, and discover what we must focus on in order to find resolution while maintaining an authority exchange dynamic. Advance ticketing required for this online class — get yours here!  Friday, November 5th Café & boutique open 6pm – 10pm. The FTM Munch meets both online and in person in the café from 7pm to 9pm. This munch is open to all AFAB transmasc kinksters to talk about their experience in the scene and build community. Details to attend in person or online at the FetLife listing here. Saturday, November 6th Café & boutique open 10am – 8pm. First Saturdays are BACK in Wicked Grounds Annex!!! At Noon, join us for Welcome to the SF Kink Scene with our own Miriam Green. We’ll help you understand everything from local kink culture and finding your own best organizations & events, to the etiquette of attending munches, classes, play parties and more. Pre-ticketing can be done through Eventbrite, or you may get tickets at the door starting at 11:30am. Then join the Society of Janus from 3-5:30pm for the return of the BDSM Basics Workshop. Are you a novice who wants to start playing in the dungeon? Do you need to build your skill set? Are you interested in learning safe techniques? Or do you just want some time to practice with an expert and get some pointers? Come to our monthly workshop and learn the basics of BDSM play. This month we’ll feature rough body play with AnnabelleBlue, caning with Miriam Green, and flogging with Frey. Advance ticketing available directly through SOJ.org, or you may get tickets at the door starting at 2:30pm — $10 for SOJ members, and $15 for everyone else! Sunday, November 7th Café & boutique open 10am – 8pm. Don’t forget that clocks fall back today to Standard Time. Lots going on today! Queer Knitting Cult meets in Wicked Grounds Annex from 1-3pm. This munch is open to all lovers of the fiber arts, with a focus on centering and creating a safe space for queer kinksters. Bring your knitting (or other) projects, and hang out! $10 suggested donation to support the space, NOTAFLOF. Online at 2pm Pacific/ 5pm Eastern, join Lee Harrington for Kissing Cousins: Age Based Roleplaying and Desires. We will explore personal, cultural, and universal archetypes of parenthood, childhood, and all kinds of kidhood and adultdom to find a voice for our own diverse desires… from naughty teenage girlz (who says kidz are bottoms?) to packs of boy scoutz. Let’s look at pre-verbal, toddler, school kid, teen, and a wide variety of adult roles that we can enjoy for roleplaying or lifestyle identities. Daddies, Mommies, other familial roles will be explored, as well as how to incorporate age play into your other kinks, while we also touch on the land mines of our pasts and helping kidz and adultz who have been emotionally hurt by past kink relationships. Advance ticketing required – get yours here!  From 6-7:30, Friendly Neighborhood Satanists meets in the cafe. It’s hosted by First Church of the Morningstar, a loose group of perfectly nice Satanists, devil worshipers, demonolators, occultists, witches, and other walkers of the left-hand path. “We meet to socialize, scheme, discuss magic, read each other’s tarot cards, swap occult books, and more! New and curious folks are welcome, we only ask that you be respectful and keep an open mind. All participants are encouraged to bring books, tarot decks, artwork, original writing, zines, grimoires, and similar to show off and share with the group. Remember to support our host, Wicked Grounds, if you can!” And of course we’ll be sponsoring and hosting our lovely friends of Om Nom Nom Non-Binary Burlesque in their monthly online show starting at 7pm. Details & ticketing here!  Monday, November 8th Café & boutique open 10am – 10pm. We have both magick and kink online classes this evening at 6pm Pacific to tickle two sides of your brain. At 6pm Pacific, Diana Rajchel offers Empath Training Level II: Shadow Work. Shadow work impacts empaths a little differently than it might for people of more neurotypical alignment. Often, their work begins with moving themselves out of the shadows of the emotions of other people. This workshop will feature some

We live in interesting times. We had the pleasure of participating in both a little street fair — the last outdoor Second Saturday SOMA of the season — and vending at an SF Catalyst party on Saturday. The party was masked, fully vaccinated, and the lovely hosts at After Dark Events made sure everyone had a rapid COVID test right before the event. While these times are sure weird, it’s great to see all of the efforts our community is making to keep everyone safe and get back toward a sense of normalcy in the long term. Just a reminder that all of our in-person events require both proof of vaccination and masking unless you’re actively eating or drinking. Let’s take a few steps toward risk-aware consensual community building! That shaking in the trees isn’t just the wind. It seems like every year after Folsom we start shaking the trees and particularly pushing out a drive for Patreon memberships. This year will be no exception. Memberships through our Patreon are literally what keeps our brick and mortar operations possible, which of course drives everything we offer online as well. We’ve been below our desired minimum threshold for a while now, but held off doing any fundraising during the pandemic. Now that we’re getting back to “normal,” it’s going to be critical that we have your support. We’ll be sending out more about this in the next couple of days, but it’s a great time for you to hop over to Patreon and sign up if you haven’t yet. And you’re looking for new books or gear, we hope that you’ll always shop WickedGrounds.com first. You’ll not only get great gear, but support all the other things we do. With that — here are some events you won’t want to miss! This Week (Wednesday, October 13th – Sunday, October 24th) ​ Wednesday, October 13th Café & boutique open from 3pm – 10pm. Interested in playing with sharps? We’re bringing back Ignixia for Needles 101, an online class from 6pm – 8pm PDT. This class covers the how to’s of needle play. Everything you need to know to have fun and safe experience with those sharp and pointies that leave many weak at the knees. We will also cover safe handling precautions and procedures for bio-hazard type material such as sharps and bodily fluid handling and disposal. Advance ticketing required — get yours here! And RSVP to let friends know you’re coming on FetLife, Facebook or Meetup! In the café, we are hosting the SF Switches Munch from 7pm – 9pm. This is for people anywhere on the D/s-T/b spectrum who find themselves evolving toward switching. Everyone’s welcome to participate, or just listen in on the conversation. We’ll start off each munch with a short round of introductions. No ticketing required, but you can RSVP to let friends know you’re coming on FetLife, Facebook, or Meetup. And of course we hope you’ll check out our friends at Mantis SF for late night shenanigans! Tonight, it’s their Mystics & Magic party at SF Cat Club. Thursday, October 14th Café & boutique open from 3pm – 10pm. Every second Thursday of the month, the guys of Rope Burn meet at Wicked Grounds Cafe from 6pm – 7pm before heading over the SF Catalyst to practice their rope bondage skills. If you’re interested in getting involved, this is a great way to meet everyone before the peer skill share portion of the night. (We often provide a few rope sales, too!) You can find out more and RSVP on Facebook here. Join us online from 6pm – 8pm PDT for Erotic Alchemy: An Introduction to Sex Magic with Lee Harrington. Join us as we examine and discuss raising sexual energy to create connection, manifest change in our lives, and affect the world at large. Advance ticketing required – find out more about the class and get your ticketing here! And RSVP on FetLife, Facebook or Meetup to get friends know you’re going. Friday, October 15th Café & boutique closed. Saturday, October 16th Café & boutique open from 10am – 6pm. The Crafty & Kinky Munch meets from 4pm – 6pm in the back room of the cafe. The Crafty & Kinky Munch is a laid back arts and crafts group that welcomes anyone of any skill level. Join us the third Saturday of every month from 4-6pm. Sometimes we have a featured project, but always you are welcome to work on whatever you want. Sunday, October 17th Café & boutique open from 10am – 6pm. From 1-3pm in the Annex, join the Craftstreet Boys for a crafter’s munch that centers soft masculinity. Everyone is welcome!!! Bring your projects and just hang out for a while. Monday, October 18th Café & boutique open 3pm – 10pm. From 7pm – 9pm PDT in the Annex & online, join us for BDSM Negotiation Basics with our own Miriam Green. Learn the basics of consent, negotiation, and how the neuropsychology of a scene affects our communication throughout the stages of BDSM play. Whether you’re brand new or an experienced kinkster, you’ll pick up information that will help you communicate better and go deeper with your play. Online tickets available here, and SF advance tickets available here. In the café, join us for the Polyamory and Non-Monogamy Munch from 7-9pm in the back room. This is a free event for all café customers. Tuesday, October 19th Café & boutique open 3pm – 10pm. Join us in the Wicked Grounds Annex for the first Wicked Rope Jam. Rope aficionados of all skill levels are welcome: whether you’re a suspension expert and want to practice using the hard points or completely new to rope and more comfortable on the floor mats. Come with a partner or solo and meet fellow riggers, bunnies, or simply self-tie! More information & RSVP here.​ It looks like we’ll have a brand new shipment of rope arriving Monday, so be sure to check that out while

Hello lovely kinksters –  We’d like to make a new Patreon benefit available to all our VIP subscribers!  Starting immediately, VIP members ($30+ or more per month subscription) will have free entry to one of our Kink 101 classes (Miriam Green classes) each month, until you’ve collected the whole set!  If you’re in San Francisco, you may just present your Patreon membership status at the door for entry. Not in SF? No problem! Just drop a line to Events@WickedGrounds.com to with your name and email address to request a spot on the guest list.  We appreciate your membership and hope that this will make it even more valuable.  xoxo Mir

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