Description
This book helped me a lot. Richo helps you trace your adult relationship issues back to whatever was going on in your family during your early childhood—whether that’s putting up with stuff you shouldn’t, or acting in ways you know aren’t healthy, playing roles that aren’t really you, or simply expecting too much or too little. The best part about this book is that it’s a guide to developing compassion, boundaries, and providing the adult relationship with yourself that you’ve been missing… rather than the angry focus on blame and overcoming that most books like this provide. The writing style is a bit new-agey for my taste, and I can’t help but roll my eyes when the author shares a poem that he’s written, but it’s all in such a caring and positive tone—you get the sense that Richo himself came a long way to reach this perspective, and you can too. Every chapter has a bunch of exercises at the end of different types, and there’s always one to suit. Reading this book is a real act of self-care.
This beloved book has touched hundreds of thousands of lives with its profound and actionable advice. Retaining the core message of becoming more mindful in our relationships, this edition includes new and revised material that addresses how we live and love today. A new preface touches on David Richo’s experience with the book over time and outlines the key updates, including attention to online dating and modern communication styles as well as new perspectives on anger and ending relationships.
“Most people think of love as a feeling,” says Richo, “but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present.” How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships. Adult love is based on a mutual commitment to what Richo calls the “five A’s”: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing. Brimming with practical exercises for couples and singles, How to Be an Adult in Relationships offers heartening insights into a lifelong journey of love.
Topics include:
• Becoming conscious of our relationship patterns and how they relate to childhood
• Recognizing and attracting someone who can show adult love
• Understanding the phases relationships go through
• Creating and maintaining healthy boundaries
• Overcoming fears of abandonment and engulfment
• Expressing anger and other emotions in adult and loving ways
• Surviving break-ups with our self-esteem intact
• Understanding love as a spiritual journey
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